Rest Doesn’t Make You Feel Better? This Is Probably Why
I’ve been experiencing chronic burnout for years. When I’m burned out, I tend to heed popular advice and pull back from my responsibilities and commitments as much as possible. I cut down on training sessions at the gym, exercise lenience with my daily habits like journaling and meditation, etc. But the funny thing is: This has never once helped me.
Probably because I don’t journal or do much (or any) reflection when I’m feeling burned out, I’ve never noticed this pattern. I tend to become burned out, stop doing my wellness routines, continue to feel worse and worse, until eventually I can’t take it anymore. I despise the fact that I’m not moving my life forward. So I decide to go back to the gym, or clean my house, or whatever. And it makes me feel a little better. And I think, “Wow, I’m feeling a little better — that’s cool! Now I have some energy, so I guess I’ll use it to go to the gym again.” And gradually, I unintentionally build my routines back, while enjoying the unexpected result of feeling better and better each day.
No matter how much I “rested,” I just kept feeling worse.
The only thing that has ever actually helped? Getting back into my routines — going back to the gym, getting on track with my journaling and mindfulness habits, doing my regular cleaning. Oh, and ADHD medication.
And after all these years, I’ve finally realized what I was doing wrong: I was resting wrong.
Who would have thought there was a right or wrong way to rest?
As it turns out, there is a right way to rest. It’s called restorative rest, and it actually makes you feel better. Imagine that.
Restorative rest involves doing something that recharges you. For most of us, doom scrolling or eating ice cream on the couch does the opposite of that. And don’t get me wrong — sometimes eating ice cream on the couch is the best thing we can do. But most of the time, it’s not. Particularly if you’re experiencing burnout, we need to do something truly restorative.
I tend to think of restorative rest as active rest (as opposed to passive rest). This can mean getting up and moving your body, but it can also include activities that are mentally active rather than physically active, such as mindfulness practices or creative work.
An important note, though, is that in order for rest to be truly restorative, we need to think of it as rest. If going to the gym feels like a chore,
And I think that’s where the problem lies for many of us. We tend to think of rest as something that involves little to no physical or mental effort. While rest can indeed look that way sometimes — such as when we sleep — it’s also so incredibly important that we get plenty of active, effortful rest.
So, how can we redefine rest? Here’s how I define it in my own life:
Rest is the practice of recharging my mind and body to restore physical, mental, and/or emotional energy in both the short term and the long term.
By this definition, watching TV or doom scrolling is almost never restful for me. Sleeping is restful when I need it, but oversleeping is not restful. Neither is drinking coffee, which gives me a short-term boost but inevitably involves a crash that makes me feel like I got hit by a bus.
And my daily wellness routines, such as exercise, eating well, drinking enough water, and practicing mindfulness, are absolutely restful. In fact, they’re some of the most restful things I could possibly do.
Not to pump my own tires, but I think this definition of rest is pretty radical.
And I think — and hope — that its application will revolutionize my life. I hope you’ll give it a try, too.